you’ve become so
damaged, that when
someone wants to
give you, what you
you have no idea,
how to respond.
Unknown (via felicefawn)
Complaining to him about being behind homework, that I want to cry and yet here I am on Tumblr. Haha.
There’s two songs that will forever remind me of my niece, Aileen, and within a week, I heard both, and I couldn’t breath, until I started crying….
It’s been a month since I last saw her beautiful face… a month done, and forever to go.
it still feels, unreal…
Today, I cried with a patient, and not one fuck was given.
Some things were simpler with you. I looked forward to you coming at night and sitting outside with me, and talk about whatever or sit in comfortable silence and look at the night sky while you held me and I rested my head on your shoulder. Or like that one time you actually played with my little brother and both of you picked on me. Your warmth was what kept me warm all the time, and the fact that I was happy to spend that time with you. Every time you said you were on your way, I knew you were almost at my house because I could hear your skateboard down the street and I felt like my stomach was doing flips. That one time I made you hurry and your flannel was still a bit wet because I didn’t give you enough time to dry it. It was cold that night. I think you even got sick. Haha. Or the one time when you said you wanted to leave this city and I said good riddance, but you knew I would miss you. The following time you came, it was summer already and you kissed me for the first time. It took us a little over a year to get to that. A year of me not letting you in, not being flexible, being moody, you disappearing, or what you called me a “pretty, difficult mess”. I miss spending nights with you talking or not talking. I miss you not being in my life anymore. I miss you as a friend and my secret lover. I just miss you.
A lovely mess.